What Lied Inside!
Lucas and Emma lost their parents at an early age.They met at St.Joseph Orphanage where they spent their childhood years. They had unremitting attempts to be together. They did their best to hunt up tiny pleasures.Every night, as lamps were switched off, Lucas did his best to wake her up to accompany him on an intriguing adventure. Then, they left the ward to enjoy a starry night outdoors.The garden that surrounded that old shabby mansion was drenched in gripping arrays of roses of various gaudy colors and neatly pitched wooden benches.They longed for spending those peerless moments under a murky sky counting stars.Lucas was Emma's everyone. She belonged to him as much as he belonged to her.Being together was the painkiller for both.They gave each other a spiritual fill during restless, emotionally barren days.Other kids at the orphanage envied them for the bond they relished was uniquely unbreakable.
As years passed, that innocent, pristine friendship grew into wild passion. As they finished college, Lucas proposed to Emma.That was what both wished for over the years. After marriage, they moved to San Francisco where they rented a small cozy house surrounded by perennial shrubs. Having green fingers, Emma planted magnificent bed roses in the narrow lot around the house.She was a housewife who enjoyed a peaceful restful life.She was contented with what life offered.Lucas worked as a computer programmer at a local firm there.Financially, the couple were on solid grounds, yet their life was neither luxurious nor extravagant.Two years later, Emma gave birth to Will, her elder son who was a generous token of God's benign care.Lucas and Emma were dearly grateful. That gratitude escalated as they had Sam, their second son.
On a stormy night, as Emma and Lucas finished recounting the bedtime story of everyday,Lucas said brusquely, " What about some coffee ?"
"Well, I don't mind share one ." , Emma retorted.Upon brewing and serving coffee, the couple enjoyed a calm evening watching Micheal Caine's " The Cider House Rules".The movie brought back memories which stimulated Emma's mind .Stealthily, she left the living room and sprinted upstairs. Rattling sounds baffled Lucas who wondered what on earth Emma was doing! That didn't last long as Emma dashed into the living room crying,"
I dug it out! " and she flung an old silver necklace with a ball-shaped dangling piece into Lucas' s hand.It was her late mother's gift on her 3rd birthday.
Scrutinising a grotty photo that lied inside , Lucas stuttered, "Mom..!!"
Love the premise.
ReplyDeleteA nicely told short which I am sure would make a great longer story, a novella perhaps?.
Why…because I wanted more!
Thank you for sincere feedback :) glad you liked it..am more into poetry but I let myself seek a new adventure as this idea crossed my mind.
ReplyDeleteWoah! This could actually happen with the spread of fatherless children throughout the U.S. Great story!!
ReplyDeletethank you for visiting and reading..glad you liked :)
ReplyDeleteYou definitely have a way with words and bring and give life to the characters. The narrative is something I always wanted to to do, but didn't ever acquire the skills that you have to to write short fiction.Nice work.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely have a way with words and bring and give life to the characters. The narrative is something I always wanted to to do, but didn't ever acquire the skills that you have to to write short fiction.Nice work.
ReplyDeleteAm so humbled by your kind comment.. thank you for reading :))
DeleteAm so humbled by your kind comment.. thank you for reading :))
DeleteThis comment is by my awesome friend Allan Ball :)
ReplyDeleteHello Dear ,
Firstly , I love the way you Introduce your
you characters to the reader . A rare quality , which
evokes an empathy, in which one feels an affinity
with them . Your use of descriptive writing creates
an imagery of their surroundings .
The pastoral theme continues throughout the story.
At this point , you effortlessly continue the narrative
of the bucolic setting . I had in my mind a picturesque
country cottage that we have here in rural England .
Whilst the twist in the tale catches , the reader by
surprise . I can see clearly in hindsight , it was to
give credence and validity ; to justify the ending .
You had previously mentioned , the theme of
idyllic scenery previously . Giving credibility to
the reason , Emma was into gardening and
endorsing , why she would make the discovery.
You should be very proud of yourself.
There is no doubt , should you be so
inclined too , making an attempt of writing
a Novel . That of course is something you
alone can decide . Best Wishes My Dear .
Allan .🌹🌹🌹.
This comment is by my awesome friend Allan Ball :)
ReplyDeleteHello Dear ,
Firstly , I love the way you Introduce your
you characters to the reader . A rare quality , which
evokes an empathy, in which one feels an affinity
with them . Your use of descriptive writing creates
an imagery of their surroundings .
The pastoral theme continues throughout the story.
At this point , you effortlessly continue the narrative
of the bucolic setting . I had in my mind a picturesque
country cottage that we have here in rural England .
Whilst the twist in the tale catches , the reader by
surprise . I can see clearly in hindsight , it was to
give credence and validity ; to justify the ending .
You had previously mentioned , the theme of
idyllic scenery previously . Giving credibility to
the reason , Emma was into gardening and
endorsing , why she would make the discovery.
You should be very proud of yourself.
There is no doubt , should you be so
inclined too , making an attempt of writing
a Novel . That of course is something you
alone can decide . Best Wishes My Dear .
Allan .🌹🌹🌹.